Merry Christmas

I tried to get to you for days

but it was too cold

or too late

or not the right time

I spent those days with friends thinking

you would be there

you would be happy to see me

we would laugh about our sisters

maybe have a meal together

I didn’t think about you a lot

it was a busy time of year

and you were busy too 

I thought

When I was close I'd get the call

but it wasn’t from you

it would never be from you 

I thought there was something wrong 

because

the grief was so ordinary 

as ordinary as opening the door

and 

sometimes

I 

still think you 

will